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Out of the TunnelJan 19th 2015, 3:36am
 

 

Out of the Tunnel

Published by
Dawgma   Jan 19th 2015, 3:36am
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Running through a railroad tunnel, some time ago, I found myself in complete blackness. Luckily, I had packed both belly lights and my headlight. Switching them on made my way clear, but it also illumined the darkness of the tracks and the walls around me. I was in a deep dark cave with only artificial light to drive away the dark.

Well, I sort of expected it- but this dark was really DARK.

My first thoughts were, "what have I gotten myself into? Should I turn around and go back, or try to go through it as fast as possible. If a train came, I would have very little room to avoid being hit. Stupid? uh-huh, but I was in the mood for a dangerous adventure, still feeling the sting of Lynn's death and feeling that I just wanted to quit my life, I began thinking of what my friend, Paul had said to me. I began to panic at the sheer length of this train track mole hole- then  I saw the small glint of light ahead. Thankfully, it was the end of the tunnel. Shuffling along trying to land each foot fall on a railroad tie, growing weary of the stale diesel smell I was suddenly in the blinding light at the other end.  I ran quickly out into it.  I had made it. In no way would I go back down through it. The highway was my friend that day.

I thought about Paul's wise words to me shortly after I lost my love- the wisest words that I have heard since her death.

"Now Dave", he said, " Losing Lynn in your life is going to be like going into a dark tunnel. You can't see, it's dark and it's long. You will receive very little comfort in all that is directed your way by others. Even in all of their love, you will travel this tunnel in the dark, alone, with no one but God to comfort you. Before you went into it, life was full of color- three dimensional.  Then you entered the tunnel, and you are in pitch black right now. You WILL come out into the light again. But it will look, a little black and white- and flat- sort of one dimensional."

But you WILL come out and you WILL continue. And you will make it, and you will help others because of what you have traveled through." Where Paul got this bit of allegorical wisdom is still a mystery to me, being that he has never lost a spouse before. But I am out of the tunnel, now.

It has been just as Paul described. There was also my friend Phil who gave me wise counsel BEFORE I had lost Lynn- but that's another story.

It's been 2 1/2 years now since Lynn went away. In the next 10 years many others will enter the tunnel.......and hopefully come out the other side. I hope and pray that I can be what Lynn was to others during her all too short life: LIFE.

GOD conforts us not to make us comfortable, but so that we might comfort others. ISAIAH 40:1

Lynn Chase, I will always love you, and I want to be more like you were, honey. I miss you, but I am doing ok now. I'm out of the tunnel. I am missing the color and dimension you of Lynn, but I am moving on down the line slowly, every footfall is landing on the railroad ties


 

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